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Why do my parents hate me but love my siblings

Why do my parents hate me but love my siblings

Siblings are a blessing and having one should come with a smile, not a frown. They ought to be a source of happiness and more importantly, they ought to be there for you no matter what is going on in your life. As much as this is the truth, it is not always like that. Our parents, whether intentionally or not, might make the situation a little different. A child might feel hated by them and the sibling(s) loved. Because of this many end up asking the question: Why do my parents hate me but love my siblings?

There are various theories behind this but the fact that parents can do something without them knowing its effect remains. Regardless of their age, children are wise and can spot favoritism when it happens.

Signs Your Parents Hate You but Love Your Siblings 

There are things that a child who does have siblings cannot understand, and this is one of them. Only a child with a sibling can feel the pain of being treated differently. Various signs can be used to indicate that your parents don’t love you as much as your siblings.

Here is a highlight of these signs:

  • Feeling that your parents are distant from you because of their reasons.
  • Your parents do things for your siblings that they don’t do for you regardless of how much your try for them to do the same things for you.
  • Your achievements and efforts are never appreciated, but your sibling’s achievements and efforts, even the smallest ones are recognized.
  • Your emotional needs are not valued.
  • You don’t get what you want even after asking a thousand times and your siblings get what they want once they ask.

These are some of the many signs of parents liking your siblings more than you. The feeling of being left out and unloved might result in emotional breakdown hence that is why it’s very important to take care and control your thoughts and feelings. It might be difficult, but giving it a shot might make a big difference.

Why do my parents hate me but love my siblings

Why Do My Parents Hate Me but Love My Siblings

Imagine your parents giving out a list of their children and you were not on the list. How would you feel? Will you keep quiet or ask them why your name was not on the list? How would you react to such a situation?

One thing about human beings is that one can never be perfect. The way a parent loves one child might not be the same way another is treated hence imperfection (favoritism) comes in. If you are asking yourself: why do my parents hate me but love my siblings? here are some answers to your question.

1. You Don’t Speak Up 

Yes, your parents know you do exists and that you do have feelings. But if you are the kind of person who doesn’t speak, they will end up leaving you out. It’s not what they would wish to do, but the circumstance is making them do it.

How would things be different if you made conversation with your parents more often and involved them in what is happening in your life daily? These would be the baby steps that you would take to make your parents recognize you. If you keep quiet, the attention that you deserve will be taken by your siblings and little will be left for you. By speaking up, you will be able to draw your parents’ attention. In a more harsh term, you will have confronted them.

2. Nobody’s Fault 

Sometimes, it’s nobody’s reason that a child is treated differently. Parents may be unintentional about their actions hence they can’t be blamed. This is why it’s important to be open-minded and try to understand the situation first before deciding to make accusations.

Although it’s the responsibility of parents to treat their children equally, sometime they may treat them differently. Without their knowledge, it’s okay but when they do it deliberately, it’s certainly not.

3. Birth Order

Don’t be surprised to realize the reason why your parents treat you differently (hate) is birth order. Well, there is nothing that you can do about being the lastborn, firstborn, or the birth number you are in your family. As much as your parents give more attention to a certain sibling in the family due to birth order, it would be wise to point out to them that it’s not okay with you.

While doing it, use the right words and tone. Also, check your non-verbal expressions since they speak more than what you say. Talk to your parents and tell them how you feel about the situation. Keep in mind that you have to use first-person narrative since it’s your story or rather the opinion you are telling.

Related Post: Ways on How to Recover from Bad Parenting

4. Your Behavior 

Parents are not idiots, even the illiterate ones. When it comes to taking care of their children, they do a tremendous job. If you realize that they hate you, it might be time you check your behavior. If you don’t listen to your parents and you act without putting their requests or teaching into consideration, then they will end up hating you. This is the truth of the matter.

So, as you ask yourself: why do my parents hate me but love my siblings, question your behavior first. If they don’t love your behavior, then they won’t like you even if they are your parents. Favoritism will be in your homestead until you change your behavior.

Why do my parents hate me but love my siblings

5. No Bond between You and Your Parents  

A bond is very important in making a child-parent relationship flourish. Many other things can make a relationship flourish. The reason why you might be feeling that your parents hate you and love your siblings is that they have a stronger bond with them.

If your bond with your parent is weak, consider adopting various habits that strengthen the parent-child bond. This will gradually reduce the feeling of being hated and make the relationship with your parents stronger.


A better relationship with a parent is what a child who feels hated by their parent would wish for. Although this is something that can’t come naturally, some ways can help in developing a strong parent-child relationship. The above-discussed ways provide a path and show a person the reason why their parents might not like them. These are the main reasons why you might feel hated by your parents and your siblings loved. It’s therefore important to consider the option that might be the solution to your problem since it can’t be all of them.

While talking to your parents, make sure that the right tone and word choice are used so that you won’t sound rude or unappreciative of the little things they have done for you. It’s wise to start by telling them how great they are at parenting then you add the word “but” to get their attention.

For example, Mum you are a great parent and I’m happy that I am one of your children but I don’t feel like you value me the same way you value my younger brother.


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