In the previous installment, we talked about the disadvantages of strict parenting. In this one, we shall talk about the signs of strict parents. How will you know you are a strict parent? It might be difficult to know if you are a strict parent especially if you don’t know the signs. Even your partner might be unable to identify and definitely, your children won’t talk to you about it since they are already afraid of you and what might happen (consequences).

Below are some of the common signs of strict parents:

Your child doesn’t talk much when you are around

Children are talkative, especially when their parents are around. A child would even tell you a joke, share things that matter to him or her, and not be afraid to ask you for something. When your child is quiet when you are around, then there might be something wrong.

Both children and parents should be open with each other. If you notice your child is awfully quiet when you are around and happy and talkative while you are away, you should consider being closer and loving so that the two o you can be close.

Your child is a prolific liar (lies a lot)

Children lie to protect themselves. if your child does this a lot, then there must be a reason for it and most probably it will be your parenting style.

A child would lie or sneak around to get out of the problem if they are unable to explain the situation to their parents. If a child knows the consequence of a behavior or action after the parent knows the truth, they would lie to hide it.

You have many rules

Rules are important even in a family setting. As a parent, you should know when the rules you make are too many and cannot be possibly enforced at the same time.

If you have too many rules, then you are most likely a strict parent. It’s wise to have a few rules which are followed to the letter. Even a child will feel happy following those few rules than many rules. The more the rules you make, the less freedom you give your child.

You constantly make threats to your children

Humans are susceptible to anger especially if someone acts in a way they don’t like.

As a parent, you should be able to control your anger and mostly definitely your threats. Threats are a result of anger and if you constantly make threat which is over the top to your children, then you are a strict parent.

Your child avoids your company

If a child is aware that you are strict and won’t mind punishing him or her even in public, they will avoid you. Even when you go for family gatherings, they will try their best to ensure you don’t have eyes on them.

A child doesn’t bring friends over

Children are the most social being. They love playing and talking with other people even people who are not of their age unless they are told not to. It’s not a surprise to hear a child telling others to come and go to their house.

If you keep on punishing your child, criticizing him or her, and asking probing questions in front of others, they will stop bringing their friends over.

If your child has to bring his or her friends over, they will first have to inform them about your antic.

You only have formal conversations with your children

What;

• kind of conversation do you have with your kids?
• do you talk about when you are together?
• do you talk about while you are having family dinner?

If all you talk about is school, grades, church, and chores, then you are a strict parent. You should behave in casual talks with your children. Let them tell you about their social life. This will let them know you care about them and their social life is important to you the same as their grades.

They talk to you depending on your mood

If your children talk to you when they notice you are in a good mood, then you are not approachable at all.

They do so because they are afraid of you and know that you will only listen to them or fulfill their demands if you are in a good mood. They will even be able to tell when you are in a good mood or bad mood by just observing you.

You don’t have time to parent

If you ask a child to do something and don’t realize if it’s difficult for the child and even you don’t attempt to listen or help the child when she says she is unable, then you are a strict parent.

Instead of ordering a child to do something difficult, do it together with them. Guide them and put the time in as a parent should.

You don’t like silliness or have little patience for it

Children love making jokes and playing silly games. If you realize that you don’t like those jokes or have little patience for silliness, then you are a strict parent.

You should understand the young one, savor the moment and have fun together instead of frowning and punishing them.

You don’t watch the words that come out of your mouth.

It’s said that a calm voice is the best when talking to a child. But when you use it, ensure the content (words) are appropriate as some are signs of strict parents.

If you say things like:

“I brought you into this world and I can take you out”

“I will wash your mouth out with soap”

“Do not make me pull this car over you, cause I will do it and bury you alone”

These sayings mean and they show how much you are bad at parenting.

You are ever nagging

If you are ever nagging your child and never allowing them to take responsibility for their own actions and behaviors, then you are a strict parent.

As a parent, you should be able to let your children plan for themselves and take responsibility for their behavior and actions.

Let a child decide when to do their homework when to go out to play and time to do other things such as chores. This will teach them to do things on their own.

You don’t give your children choices

Strict parents do not give their children choices. They give orders and expect them to be followed, without any question.

A little freedom such as giving your child the opportunity to make a choice can mean so much to the child. Don’t be that parent who always barks orders to children.

Your restrictions or rules are more than those of other parents

Having restrictions and rules is normal and a good thing. But if yours are stricter than those of other parents, then you might be the strictest. This is not a good thing since it proves that your expectations are different and too high.

The level of restrictions that your child has should be almost the same as those of other children although the rules might be different.

Your child never asks for your opinion

If your child would rather ask for an opinion from other people and never from you, you might consider yourself as a strict parent. This might be because of your zero-tolerance policy that many strict parents have.

children consider parent opinions and perspectives than those of strangers. If a children perceive their parents as strict, they would go ahead and look for opinions and advices from other people who are close to them.

conclusion

Parents should know what is best for their children. Both should be open with each other. If you notice you have any of the above signs of strict parents, you should try to adjust. Strict parenting has disadvantages hence should be avoided by all means if possible.