An aspect of life that would never cease to exist is wronging/upsetting someone. People have boundaries, needs, or other elements that ought to be respected. As children, we find ourselves wronging our parents even when we have our own families. This is why it’s crucial to know how to make your parents forgive you.
At times parents might indeed have the wrong perception and end up wronging/upsetting us. But that does not mean that you cannot forgive them. When the actions or words of your parent anger you, let it go and pray/hope the best for them as they come to realize their wrong. The moment they will realize they were wrong, they will apologize.
You Can Also Read On: Signs of a Bad Parent-Child Relationship
Other times, you are the one who has wronged or angered your parents and needs their forgiveness. How would you do it?
How to Make Your Parents Forgive You
The first thing is to know that no parent wishes or hopes the worst for their children. Unless, they are more than willing to curse them – on rare occasions. Deep down, parents have a forgiving heart if they believe that your apology was honest and you meant your words.
Explain Yourself
When you want your parents to forgive you, explain yourself first. While doing this, is important to check your tone as well as non-verbal communication. As much as you might use the right tone and your nonverbal communication portrays or shows something different (not in check), you are doing nothing.
This shows that you do not mean what you are saying and your parents won’t listen to what you are saying. If they will listen, they will not believe you.
When explaining yourself, make sure you do not leave any detail behind. Explain everything from the start to the end and if asked a question, answer to their satisfaction. There would be no point in them requesting clarification and you end up repeating what you had said. And in the same manner you had said it.
Explain to your parents the reason why you did what you did and why you think it was not okay. This will address the backbone of the issue. They will know that their child has “opened his or her eyes” and now understands the importance of forgiveness. So, do it thoroughly and in the right way.
Ask for Forgiveness
In his book, Dare to Forgive, Dr. Ned Hallowell explains what forgiveness is and the four stages of forgiveness. These stages are:
- Pain and Hurt
- Reliving and Reflecting
- Working it out
- Renouncing Anger and Resentment
When it comes to your parents forgiving you, they are at the third stage of working it out. This stage is made simpler by you asking for their forgiveness.
This is the point you use words such as: “I am so sorry…; I know I have wronged you…; Find a place in your heart to…; I lack many words to express myself but I am sorry for…; Please forgive me…”
You will also need to explain why you need it (forgiveness) while using the right tone. It would not work out for you if you asked for forgiveness as if you are entitled to it. Remember, your parents have the right to say “NO’ to your request, hence make sure you do your best.
Read on: How to Teach Obedience to a Child
Make sure that you are respectful and understand their feelings. Forgiveness comes from one’s willingness or rather from the heart therefore, do not try to force them to forgive you.
At this point, your parents might need to talk so allow them to talk to you about their feelings and explain why they are still upset with you. When they are talking, try to hear them out and do not react defensively.
This is the moment when you have to be understanding and take your parents’ feelings into account. What this means is that you have to make them not feel like they are wrong for being upset with you.
Make a Commitment to Change and Stick To It
While asking for forgiveness, commit to change and stick to it. This will support your request and increase the chance of acceptance by your parents.
This would be more of a promise, hence make sure it’s something that you can do or deliver. It would be heartbreaking to commit to something that you have doubts about and end up not fulfilling it.
If you commit to change and make amends for your past transgressions, stick to your words and avoid things that might make you go back to the old ways.
Words are never enough, actions speak the loudest hence making the necessary effort to do what you committed yourself to.
Be Honest and Open With Your Parents
Honesty and openness between parents and children play a crucial part in their relationship. These two elements make the bond between the two stronger.
So, when it comes to asking for forgiveness, be honest and open.
This changes the environment and clears any doubt that your parents might have. Trust is built and through such action, it would be easy for a parent to forgive.
As your parents, let them know how you’ve been coping with life’s happenings. Also, you might mention how this contributed to “the making of the wrong”. You can try to make a list of all the times you have hurt them and try to pinpoint why you did each thing.
Be honest and open with them about your feelings. While letting them know that you are truly sorry and apologetic for your past mistakes and want to make things right. Make an effort to communicate with them and show that you want to make things right. Be sincere about it.
Pro Tips on How to Make Your Parents Forgive You
Asking for forgiveness is often the best technique to make your parents forgive you but there are also other ways. These are indirect ways how to make your parents forgive you.
- Act like you feel bad (quilt)
- Start acting responsibly – ensure you have done chores and other duties on time, if possible take on extra chores and duties
- Do not repeat the same mistake
- Be patient. Forgiveness takes time so be patient
- Update them on what you are up to even if they do not ask. Keep them posted and with time, they will show interest
- Try your best not to make their life difficult
- When she or he is talking or lecturing you, do not answer back, nodding is enough
- Do not talk to your parents when they are upset, this will only get them mad
- If it’s possible to fix the mistake, try doing so
- Use a respectful tone when talking to her, follow rules and show them affection
